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CLEAR Communication Skills Primer
Clear Resolve has developed the CLEAR Communication Skills training method. This powerful and easy to follow method forms the core of all of Clear Resolve's training and philosophy. The following primer touches on the basic theory. The heart of each skill is explained in the full course with the help of our instructor. The course also provides extensive, well thought out practice exercises to help build skills fast.
C - Communicate what's important to you
L - Listen
E - Ensure you heard them
A - Ask questions to bring out what's important to them
R - Respond to positives
C- Communicate what's important to you - Communicating what's important to you is about making sure you say what you need to say AND that the other person hears and understands that it's important to you.
Practice and learn the 3 methods including;
· Don't Fight and Don't Give In. Often our gut feel is that fighting is not helpful in the long run and that giving in doesn't help overall either. What is the alternative and how do you use it?
L - Listen - Listening is soaking up the most realistic and most complete information possible about a situation. Blocks to listening are explored in exercises.
Practice and learn the 8 hints including;
· Information Comes In Many Forms. Remember that even if the other person is aggressive or is not open, they are still giving you lots of good information about the situation. For example you will know there is an issue that needs to be addressed and will have information about how the mood and level of emotion of the other person.
E - Ensure you heard them - This is checking to see if you understood what someone has told you. It is using your own words to let them know what you heard them say. It is sometimes called restating or summarizing.
Practice and learn the 4 methods including;
· Give Them a Heads Up. Let them know you are taking a shot at seeing if you heard them right. Then ask whether you have got it right.
Ex) “ So you're saying that …..Is that about right?”
E - Ensure you heard them (when they are upset) - What to do when someone says something that comes across as a negative judgement or accusation about you. This is a tricky point where discussions can turn into arguments and things can get out of hand. Most times underneath what seems like an attack is the real information about “what's really bugging them”. This skill is about picking out the real information and checking to see if you have it right. It is sometimes called reframing.
· Let Them Know If They Cross the Line. Decide if you want to first let the other person know that the way they are speaking to you is unacceptable or unproductive. If you do then add that you still want to solve the problem together.
A - Ask questions to bring out what's important to them- This is asking questions to help the other person bring out what's important to them.
Practice and learn the 5 hints including;
· Ride, Don't Drive. Follow what seems important to the person, wherever it leads. Don't decide where the conversation is going.
R - Respond to positives - This is making a point of stopping and telling them about a positive statement they said, or about something positive they did, or some positive change in their attitude that you notice.
Practice and learn the 3 hints including;
· Let The Good Stuff Stand By Itself. Take time to focus on the positive contribution on it's own, unrelated to everything else that is going on.
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